Assassin 20
by Ayumi Elric
Summary: [Assassin under new management]Crack story where movie stars and famous people I hate are killed by FMA characters. Main assain: Wrath. Fair game, ask me if you want someone to die, rated T for obvious reasons, review or I'll assainate you next.
1. Hilary Duff

**Random story that my friend Peggy made and I luckily inherited. Yay me! First, I shall repost the original chapters. Chapter 4 is my first! Please review. If you want me to kill someone off, just ask and ye probably shall receive unless it's **

**Ben Stiller**

**Eddie Murphy**

**Johnny Depp**

**Adam Sandler**

**Ashley Trisdale**

**Vigo Mortenson **

**Cole Sprouts (Dylan can go to hell)**

**Kelly Clarkson**

**Christina Aguilera**

**Walt Disney (he's already dead I know)**

**Jesse McCartney**

**Or Elvis. Anyone else, I'll probably kill. (adding Vic Mignogna to that list)**

Hilary Duff was particularly proud of herself today; it was her third week on her diet of no carbs. Actually, she didn't eat anything. At all. Can you tell?

So she lip sang to her mirror, unfortunately there was no one to put in words while her lips were moving this time like on her concerts. But she didn't care. She spent all her money on bleach and plastic; she didn't need personality.

'Me go to bar and have sex with ugly rapper,' she thought in her overly preppy thought voice. Today she was wearing a pink bikini top—oh wait I'm not sure that it could be called a bikini more like a strip of narrow spandex—and a two inch long skirt that I'm sure was much too far down for her tastes. She figured someone would want to have sex with her- that is she would think that if she was capable of individual thought.

So Hilary Last-Name-of-Homer's-Favorite-Beer strode down New York City pretending she was pretty.

Little did she know…

-------------Stupid Line doesn't show up------------

"Dammit!" Roy muttered, slapping his hand down on his desk. "You're right, Edward, we need to get rid of her!"

Ed nodded sagely.

"Even I wouldn't go out with her!" Roy yelled. "And that's saying something!"

Ed sighed. "So does that mean…I can call _him?"_

Roy hesitated. Did it need to be taken that far? He remembered Hilary's horribly obvious lip synching. "Yes, Edward. Call him."

Ed pressed the buttons on Roy's office phone and let it ring for a little bit. Then…

"Hello?" a soft voice hissed into the phone.

"I have a job for you," Ed said in a low voice. "You know Hilary Duff?"

"That bleached plastic factory carrying seventeen STD's? Yes."

"Well…Roy and I would like you to take her out," Ed said.

The person on the other line smiled. "Thought you'd never ask. I'll get right on it."

He hung up.

---------Stupid line dammit-----------

Hilary had just had sex with Bill Clinton, who gave her 300 bucks to do it. Hilary would've done it anyway but she never refused money.

As she walked away from his house, her purse fell into an alleyway. Normally she would've left it, but it was a designer's so expensive she could have invaded a small country with the money she spent on it. And she didn't want some brown haired girl with glasses to find it and touch it. So she gingerly walked into the alley and picked up her purse.

Suddenly, a hand reached out and threw rope around her neck. Having an IQ of -3, Hilary had no idea what was going on.

"Finally," a voice near her ear whispered. "You can't breathe can you?"

Hilary's last thought before she died was 'no he'll take my purse' and then she left this world.

The boy looked at her and smiled.

"Screw you, bitch," Wrath said.

**I hate her so, so she had to be the first to die. Please review if you like. **


	2. Tom Cruise

**Ha everyone likes this story!!! Hokay, so like here's chapter two. I decided for my friend Julie that chapter two will not be Paris Hilton, it will be Tom Cruise. Okay this one is majorly effed up but deal.**

Tom Cruise was posing in front of his mirror when one of his six thousand phones rang. Tom, who was mostly naked except for a strip of cloth Tarzan-style, spun around and started talking to himself in third person. (As one of the bellboys had accidentally entered his room whilst he was doing this and ran out screaming, what he was saying to himself will not be recorded.)

Outside his window, figures clothed in black so that they looked like shadows crept along the wall. One of them, supposedly the leader, was watching Tom with hatred in his eyes. 'Soon… soon,' he thought.

A few hours later, as Tom loved his Tarzan time, Tom decided Tarzan had to go bye-bye. He threw himself on his bed and began talking about cupcakes and "pretty-pretty rainbows".

The figures in black, which were obviously ninjas, now made their move. One of them pulled out a laser pointer which was an actual laser and sliced a large hole in Tom's window. They silently entered Tom's room, standing over his bed menacingly.

Tom looked up. "Japanese?" Most people would have chosen something more profound for their last words, but not Tom Cruise.

The leader of the ninjas snapped his fingers, and the ninjas overtook Tom. First, they threw kunai knives at him, pinning him to the wall. Then one by one, they stabbed him until he died.

The leader of the ninjas held up his hand. "Stop. He's dead now."

The ninjas turned and bowed to their master.

They left through the hole in the window, their leader leaving last.

A few days later, the leader of the ninjas came to Central city to see Roy and Ed. When he got to Roy's office, the Colonel raised his eyebrow. "So, did you kill him?"

The ninja pulled off his mask, revealing himself to be Ling Yao, the prince of Xing. "Yes, my shinobi warriors and I finished him off quickly."

"Damn," Ed muttered. "Quickly? Aw…"

"Sorry," Ling said apologetically. "Next time I'll make it last longer."

"As you should, Ling, as you should," Roy said ominously.

**Review or else ninjas kill you too. This chapter was short, but most of them will be about this short.**


	3. Paris Hilton and Other Random People

**Sorry guys. I'm not allowed to kill Orlando Bloom; my friend's a fangirl and she threatened me. GOMEN NO SAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **

------

Paris Hilton made a deal with the devil when she was eight years old. She said, "Devil Guy, make me plastically hot like a disturbed Barbie Doll." The Devil---wondering why the hell anyone would wanna look like a disturbed Barbie Doll but, hey, that's his job—granted her wish.

But now the Devil's back.

Paris was playing tea set with her stuffed animals to pretend she had friends when He came.

Her eyes widened. "No…not you…not…um…what? What am I doing?" she asked, looking around the room, her highlighter hair whipping around.

The Devil sighed. "God why do I get all the noobs…?" He muttered. "Okay, you're gonna die now," he told her.

She clutched her demented elephant (ELEPHANTS ARE EEEEEVIL!) and asked, "Can Flopsy wotten tail come too?"

The Devil looked at the evil demonic stuffed animal and said, "No." Then he used a magical staff made of candy to send small pox into her intestines and slowly eat away at her innards DIE YOU BITCH DIE!

After the devil left the place Paris was at, the author realized that it was not the Devil!

IT  
WAS  
WRATH!  
YAAAAAAAAAAY!

So Wrath decided to make certain readers happy by killing certain people.

"Hello, are you Deondra?"

"Yes…"

"Well, AnimeAddict333 wants you dead. Bye-bye."

BOOM.

Wrath stole Roy's gloves! Wheeeee!

"Hello, are you Rose?"

"Yes…"

"Well, SG1 FMA DC and several others want you dead. Bye-bye."

BOOM.

"Are you P-Diddy?"

"Yo man, I don't even ma own chapta? Dat's messed up yo."

"Um, shut up. Monkey Mist Robo wants you dead. Bye-bye."

BOOM!  
"Are you Chi-chan/Tintin-chan?"

"Lemme guess I'm gonna die."

"Your friend randomly obsessed wants you dead because you insulted Murtagh, even though the author doesn't know who that is. Bye-bye."

"SHI-"

BOOM!


	4. Michael Jackson

_**Well, my children, this is the end. I am old and weakening. Okay not really. **_

_**But anyway, this story is being passed onto Ayumi Elric. I ask only that she not kill Winry, no matter how many people ask her to, to kill a certain person named Roxana, and to not kill Johnny Depp either. She is indeed worthier than I to write this, so Assassin will be inherited by Ayumi.**_

_**McTully, over and out.**_

**Yes,yes, how fortunate I am to have inherited such a great story…-happy sigh- I only hope I'll be able to surpass McTully in this fanfic, MYAHAHA!**

**-ahem- anyway, just like with the original Assassin, in ur reviews u can ask to kill anyone u want, and I'll try to kill them…if I'm allowed. –cough- And um…the title is Assassin 2.0, not is mean that way.**

**-----------thisfanficgoestoP.McTully,sinceitshersinthefirstplaceMYAHAHA-------**

Ahh, it was a great day for Michael Jackson. He got to butt rape a particularly cute boy today! Too bad the boy committed suicide in the most violent fashion, oh well! Oh, and he tossed a few babies that weren't his out a window. They sound so cuuuute falling down 5 stories!!

Michael sat in front of his pink vanity mirror, putting on his makeup. _Hmm, what should I do today?_ He wondered. He gasped! He should angst about his bastard of a father abusing him in his childhood or something! "'Cause it's a Thriller! Thriller night! Hee hee!" He sang joyously, moon walking out the door.

-

Russell Trigonometrygrahamcracker (or Tringham for short) was upset. And hot. But mostly upset. Why? Cause wittle baby Fletcher was in his room crying, thinking he was the next that MJ shall take (his virginity that is). And when Fletcher was unhappy, Russell was unhappy. That's just the kind of big brother type figure he was. And he has cool hair.

Russell needed help. He couldn't stop Michael alone. So, he went to the only guy possible…

"Soo…you came to me for this 'mission'." Said a mysterious voice behind a large black leather chair.

"Yes, you were the _only_ person I could trust with this." Russell answered urgently.

The chair spun, revealing the author of this fanfic. Ayumi! "Interesting…" She muttered, stroking a kitten on her lap. "So…you want me to…kill Michael Jackson, eh?"

"Yes, it's really important!"

"Well…" The girl stroked her chin. "I do hate that bastard…I accept."

Russell smiled. Squee! "Thanks!"

"Now shoo! I got important mob boss business to get to." Ayumi punted Russell out. She snapped her fingers. "Peeps, we have a mission!"

-

"OH FATHER, WHY?! DIDN'T YOU LOVE ME! I HATE YOU, YOU BAAAASTAAAARD!! HEE HEE!" Michael wailed in the dark room he was sitting in.

"Myahahahahaha…"

"Huh?! Whose there?! Hee hee!" Michael gasped, spinning around to try and locate the voice.

"I'm your worse nightmare…" The voice answered.

Michael squealed in horror. "Papa?!"

"No, idiot!" Wrath stepped from the shadows. "Wrath!"

Michael squealed again, this time in delight. "Awww, what a cute little boy, hee hee!"

_If he gets near my ass, I swear, I will murder him in a more painful way then what I was planning._ Wrath thought.

"Sooo, are you one of my fans?" Michael asked, which of course, was Jackson lingo for 'Soo, you wanna be on top or on bottom?' Ohhh, how evil…

"No." Wrath said, stepping closer to MJ.

Michael was busy checking Wrath out to notice the rope he had in his hand, until it was already around his neck and was holding him up in the air. "Eep!"

"Any last words?" Ed said, mysteriously coming from the shadows with his automail transmuted as a gun.

Michael stared in horror as Ed loaded the gun. His precise words as Ed shot madly at him was something like "HEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!"

So, while Michael hung limply from the rope, bleeding and like, dead, Ed started stabbing his body with his automail blade. Wrath helped, using knives and whatnot. "Roy, we need your help!"

"Thought so, you guys can't do anything without me." Roy smirked, walking from the mysterious mystery that was the shadows. He snapped, and BOOM! Michael was an interesting pile of ash on the floor.

"Hot damn!" Ed muttered, scooping up the ash.

Michael's kids that were randomly watching gasped. "YAY, HE'S DEAD!"

One kid pointed towards a toilet. "Dump him in there, he just go poopy in it!"

"Oh…convenient." Ed said, pouring the ash in. He stared at the crap for a moment. "Ewwww…"

"Ed, stop staring at crap!" Roy snapped, pushing him out of the way. He stared at the crap. "Ewww…"

Wrath sighed, rolling his adorable purple eyes. "Idiots." He said, magically pouring the toilet's contents into a blender. He turned it on smoothie.

"Ew, gross!"

"Come on, we have to follow orders." Wrath said, taking the blender off the cord thingy and jumping out a window. The two alchemists shrugged and followed.

-

"So..why do we have to dump the smoothie into the ocean?"

"…'cause that's what Ayumi wants us to do." Wrath said awkwardly, pouring the smoothie into the ocean.

"………why?"

A shark surfaced and drank the smoothie. "Uhh…that's why?"

Then the shark choked and died. Cause isn't that what you would do if you drank a Michael Jackson smoothie? Oh, and crap too, but that's besides the point.

"Success!" Ayumi cheered, fishing the shark from the water. She stuffed that into the blender and smoothified it. "Okay peoples, we're gonna feed this to the homeless!"

"But Ayumi!" Peggy started. "The homeless people will get sick!" (Don't ask how we got there…)

"Oh yes…that is true..you don't want homeless people sick." Ayumi agreed.

"Feed it to that bitch? I mean girl?" Wrath suggested, pointing to a random girl walking towards the group. Her name was Roxanna. Peggy wants her dead.

"Sure!"

So, they forcefed Roxanna the Michael Jackson/crap/shark smoothie. Alas, she got sicked and puked herself to death. Oh well, noone will miss her.

-**Owari**

**How I do for my first chapter? Review or face the same fate Michael Jackson got. You have been warned.**


	5. Justin Timberlake

**Yay, I finally updated! X3 I like, just got an idea so like...yeah...**

**Disclaimer: Assassin belongs to Peggy and I just write it...and FMA belongs to like..not me...**

**ACTION!**

**-**

It all started on the wonderful, happy-filled day of Fuhrer King Bradley's funeral. He unfortunetaly got into an accident. Who woulda guessed he'd fall into his washing machine while it just so happened to be filled with gasoline and blew up with him inside as it mysteriously turned on by itself?

"Bull! You murdered him!" Ed yelled, pointing accusingly at Ayumi.

"Peple wanted him dead, okay!" Ayumi replied in a miffed tone. "Now shut up while I figure out how to cheat off those sexist bastards in the military so I could be Fuhrer..."

Ed stared at her, about to say something when a phone started playing 'A Song of Storm and Fire' from Tsubasa Chronicles as a ringtone. **(which by the way, is my real one. X3)**

"Ooo! Alphone!" Ayumi pulled out a cute little black phone and turned it on. "Hello?"

_"Hi, is this the Assassin 2.0 Hotline?"_

"Yup!"

_"Yay! Can you please get someone to kill Justin Timberlake??? He sickens me..."_

"Sure!" She hung up. "Ed, we got a new mission!"

"When did we get a hotline?" Ed blinked with this new found fact.

"Duh, since forever! How else do you think we get our murder requests?"

Ed looked up at the link for the review page. "Ooooh, I dunno..."

-

On the other side of the Gate, somewhere in America, where like, stars live and stuff, JT sat in a resturant, waiting for his order of a macoroni and mustard sandwich to arrive and taking a break from screwing women and singing about screwing women.

"Dudes, can you like, not SEE me frickin' sitting here waiting for some effing food!? I'm famous, dammit! OBEY ME!" Justin yelled out, banging his fists on the table and killing a ladybug. Aww, the poor buggy!

"Sorry, sorry, your order." Said a cute little waiter that looked remotely like Wrath...maybe because it was! Yay! He placed down the sandwich along with a jar of a...mysterious substance, then ran off.

"And don't expect a tip!" Justin shouted after him. _Haha! I'm so totally bad-ass and gansta!_ He thought cheerfully, humming one of his disturbing songs and getting ready to eat his sandwich. Then...he noticed the jar...

He poked it, giggling quietly. "Heehee...jay." He turned it around to see the label convieniatly labled there. It read "CYANIDE"

"Huhm...see-yan-dee." He read aloud, blinking. He shrugged. "Eh, must be french." He concluded, opening the jar and pouring (can cyanide be a liquid? ...whatever) it into the sandwich. Then, he took a huge bite.

Wrath couldn't help but laugh as Justin spazzed then slumped in his chair, obviously dead. With his homunculus speed and such, Wrath scooped up his body and ran off.

-

"Ahh, a world free from JT...awesome-ness." Ayumi sand, twirling around.

"You're evil." Ed muttered.

"So says the guy responsible for murdering MJ last chapter."

"Hey, I saved the world's little boys and babies, okay!?"

"Touche." She nodded. Just then! Wrath ran over, waving around a bloody sack.

"...I'm hoping that's just ketchup." Ed stared at the sack.

"Actually, it's Justin's head." Wrath beamed, pulling out the severed head.

"Gah! Where's the rest of him!?"

"Sold it on eBay." He grinned all evil and Wrath-like.

"Give me half of the money." Ayumi said quickly.

Wrath sighed, handing her the cash. She sqeauled, saying something about bribing the military and ran off.

Ed blinked. "So...you wanna go kill random people to fulfill people's requests?"

Wrath shrugged. "Sure."

So, they stole some bombs and blew up Armstrong, Sakura, Meiru and kept Dante alive to torture her for ever and ever, MYAHAHA!!

Oh, and before I forget...In Australia.

Some Australian dude was walking around when he noticed something big and seemingly dangerous hurtling out of the sky.

"Crikey! What the 'ell izzat!?" He exclaimed, forgetting to move and ultimately got squished to death. Woe.

-

**Okay then, I'm done. XD That was fun! Send more requests or an order of See-yan-dee shall be coming for you, MYAHAHA!**


	6. Lindsey Lohan

**Oh, how I hate Lindsey, she deserves to die SO badly, and I'm surprised I didn't do her in before. But, eh. -shrugs-**

**---**

Ed was walking around randomly, looking for another character in the chapter. Why? Because he's usually with Ayumi in this fanfic and now he was alone and feeling emo because Al also wasn't here because he went to do...things with Pat. Hi Pat!!!

So, as Ed was walking around, he spotted Wrath sitting on the curb throwing rocks at pigeons and thus, killing them. Ed blinked, walking over to sit next to him and started watching him murder birds. "..."

"..."

"..." Ed blinked again, realizing something. "Hey, Wrath, shouldn't you be out murdering..." He paused to look up at the title bar. "...Lindsey Lohan?"

"Um...no..." Wrath answered slowly, staring at him. "Ayumi said she wasn't to be the one to kill her, remember? It was on the memo."

"We have a memo?!" Ed gasped.

"Dood...where have you been??" Wrath sighed, shaking his head at him.

-

Lindsey Lohan was sitting in a doctor's office, sitting with her anorexic fat ass on the bed thingy and was swinging her legs around impatiently. "Come on, doctor, I got drugs to take and bitch stuff to do!"

"Yeeah...about that..." The doctor answered, tugging on some..._rubber_ gloves. "How was rehab?"

"Boring! I mean, lyke, OMG, it's like they're trying to _help_ me stop doing things...lyke...ya know?" Lindsay babbled, unaware that the doctor has stopped paying attention and was flipping her off behind her back.

"So, anyway, Doc, I was lyke, wondering, I was feeling like losing a couple twenty pounds, so if you can help me...?" Lindsay asked, twisting her ugly, damaged purple hair. Yeah, the last dye job didn't go so well...that's what happens when you just can't accept the fact that you were born with red hair...

"Uh...yeah...I can help you with that." An evil smirk went up behind the doctor's mask as she (yes, this is a female doctor) pulled out a small pink bottle of pills. "Ya see, this is extra strength diet pills. To lose 'twenty' pounds like you say, you have to take about...oh, I dunno...5 pills every hour, okay?"

"Damn, ya sure that'll work?" Lindsay asked slowly, eyeing the bottle. The doctor smiled reassuringly behind her mask. "Of course! Each pill is guaranteed to kill off about 5 pounds in seconds."

"But...lyke...isn't that...uh...uh...uh...25 pounds?" Lindsay asked after a long break of thinking.

"Did you just do math?!" The doctor gasped. Lindsay gasped in horror. "OMG! I did! Don't tell anyone." She passed the doctor a wad of money, who took it. "Okay! Now gimme the pills!"

"You could say please..."

"Psh, saying please is for poor hobos, now gimme!" Lindsay grabbed the pills, squealing happily and running out the door.

The doctor waited 5 seconds before ripping off her mask and hat thingy, revealing that she was indeed Ayumi! "Mwahahahahah!!!!!!" She laughed evilly, before choking on the mints she was eating and falling out a window.

-

Ed was alone again, moping as he watched his show on Adult Swim. "Dammit, there's so many guys with asses I have to kick! I'll have to make a list just to keep track of it all!" TV Ed yelled from the television. "I never did make that list..." Ed muttered to himself.

"Hi Ed!!!" Ayumi yelled suddenly, jumping onto the couch he was sitting on. Ed toppled off the couch and hit the floor, luckily landing on his face. "Ow..."

"Oh yay, I love this episode!" Ayumi squealed, turning the volume higher. "Ayumi! Don't you have celebrities to murder or something?!" Ed yelled, jumping to his feet. "Boy, that sounded odd..."

"Yes, it did. And no, I took care of Lindsay already." Ayumi smiled evilly. "I told her to take 5 of the extra strength diet pills Lust have been making Gluttony eat."

Ed gasped in horror. "But Ayumi! They're _extra_ strength, eating five will make you disintegrate in 20.36478 seconds!"

"I know! And knowing Lindsay, she overdosed!!!" Ayumi continued in an excited tone, clapping her hands happily. "In fact! She should spontaneously combust in 5...4...3...2...1..."

"We interrupt this episode of Fullmetal Alchemist to give you some semi-tragic news! Lindsay Lohan has exploded!!!" The TV Announcer guy shouted. Ayumi laughed evilly and Ed stared at her. _Damn...I'm friends with a maniac..._

**---**

**Muahahahaha!!!!! I probably shoulda made her death more painful, but eh, I thought this was more fitting. Die Lindsay, Die! MWAHAHAHA!!!!!**

**Review!!!**


	7. Ashton Kutcher

**I'm finally writing again!!!! X3 Okay, I wrote this (like many others) while I was trapped in reality's prison. It was a request from my daughter Sporkeh!!!! X3 **

**---**

Ashton Kutcher was sitting in his kitchen, at the table, holding up a bottle of ketchup upside-down over two slices of bread. He was staring at the ceiling, his eyes crossed and drool dripping from his mouth and onto the bread, which would explain its soggy appearance, besides the fact that ketchup was still spurting onto it. As he drooled, he kept being all "Duuuuuuaaaaahhhh…"

"Can't believe I have to be the one to kill him." Ed muttered angrily to himself, stealthily jumping in through a hole in the ceiling, making debris rain down behind him. He blinked, staring at Ashton. "Uh…dude…?"

"Dwaaaaaaaahhhhrrggggh…" Ashton answered numbly.

"Ew…" Ed grimaced at the amount of drool he was uh…drooling. "Dude, you okay?" He waved his hand over Ashton's face. "Ggrf." Ashton grunted, hopping in his chair a bit before going back to staring and drooling. "Uguwaaaaaah…"

"Um…okay…I'm gonna kill you now…okay?" Ed blinked.

"Pffyaaaaeeeehhhnnn…" Ashton replied. Ed blinked again, pulling out a gun and shooting him. Ashton toppled over with a squeal like a decapitated rooster. Ed blinked again. "Weird…" He muttered, jumping out a window.

-

"This chapter is too short! Kutcher barely responded to his murder!" Ed complained, stomping over to Ayumi, who was at her computer writing this chapter. He stopped and stared at the screen as she typed this exact sentance. "Ed, I'm kinda busy, so go away." She muttered blankly.

"But the chapter's too short." Ed whined, pouting. Ayumi sighed, handing him a big red button with a skull and crossbones on it. "Don't press that button." She said, turning back to her computer.

Ed glared at the button angrily. How dare it tempt him with it's buttoness! He sighed in obvious regret. "Fine. I won't press the button." He mumbled, trying to distract himself by watching me type, which is by the way, very unnerving. Hold on while I slap him.

Rubbing his sore cheek (and yes, I mean his face ya pervs), Ed sat on the floor and stared at the evil red button. Noting how smooth the button looked, Ed stroked his finger across it. Yes! Very smooth! Making sure Ayumi wasn't looking, which I wasn't, he started rubbing the smoothness on his face. How could anything be so sinfully smooth?!

Realizing he was acting like an idiot, Ed pulled the button away and chose to stare at it's evil bone print. The skull stared at it with glowing eyes (not really, but Ed's insane and thinks this) "Press meeeeeee, you know you want to." The button said.

"Ah! A talking button!" Ed yelled. Ayumi stared at him for a second before going back to writing.

"Come on, big boy, press me! You won't regreeeet iiiiiit." The button said in a flirty tone. "Don't you wanna see what I do? Huh, big boy? Do ya? Doooo yaaaa? Press me!"

Feeling on the end of his (very short) rope, Ed thought for a moment. After conversing with the voices in his head, the spirit of his dead hampster Fluffy and the rubber chicken in his pocket Carl, he decided that there was only one way to defeat this...this...THIS DAMN INSTRUMENT OF TORTURE!! Yes, that's what we'll call it.

"I WON'T LET YOU WIN!" Ed shouted, slamming his fist into the button. It beeped, and confetti popped into the air as the loud but far off sounds of explosions shook the windows.

"Took you long enough to press that button." Ayumi said, spinning around in her...spinny chair. Ed stared wide-eyed at her. "What the hell did you make me do?!"

"Blow up all the world's rappers." Ayumi threw her head back and laughed her signature laugh. Ed stared at her more.

-For example...-

"Yo yo yo yippie yo-ki-yay-" A rapper...uh...gotta think of a rapper name...uh...uhh...-bangs head on desk- Wow, hold on -goes to ask her sisters- Nelly! Yeah, Nelly was rapping when he suddenly go BOOM! Hahahahah

---

YAY, FUN!!!! X3


	8. The Cast of High School Musical

**o.o; Updating...because I keep forgetting about certain fanfics I have to update and getting reviews for them makes me remember XD; So yeah, I'm not killing Furuba's Akito only because 'he's' uber hot in the anime and 'she's' uber awesome in the manga n.n; -sweatdrop- I seriously gotta update faster, because there's so many people waiting to get killed and so little...uhh...attention span? Chapter space? ...something like that...anyway, new chapter...ROT IN HELL, HSM!!!!!**

**---**

It was the end of the first crappy movie on the now crappy Disney channel that was once again massacring their reputation by playing High School Musical. Again. Thus, brainwashing more people and making the smarter ones loathe it anymore.

"We're soaring! Flying! There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach!" Zac and Vanessa sang in their stupid duet. I forgot their names in the actual movie since I didn't watch it all, and I probably got those lyrics wrong, BUT I DON'T EFFING CARE

The door was suddenly kicked open and the whole Fullmetal Alchemist cast that was still alive at this point swarmed inside, all armed with heavy artillery and Barney CDs. Ayumi stepped to the front of the line with a deadly smirk. "Welcome one and all, and WELCOME TO DYING! THIS IS HIGH SCHOOL MASSACRE EVERYONE, **CAN YOU DIG IT!!!!?!?!!**"

Everyone gasped at the mob of anime characters, most of them wondering why a bunch of 'cartoons' had burst into their set. Ed twitched at being called a cartoon and sent up a flare as the signal. With triumphant cries, the cast attacked, shooting down every one of the bitches! While they did that, Ed and Ayumi ran to the stage and pushed Zac and Vanessa to their knees, then grabbed their microphones.

"You're dying! Bleeding!" Ed sang mockingly.

"There's not a soul in this world that can help you now!" Ayumi sang and grinned murderously at Zac and Vanessa, who both shrieked and clutched each other in fear. Ed and Ayumi both whacked them hard with their mics, knocking them unconscious and dragged them off to do torturous stuff to them, while the FMA cast piled up the bodies, then got into position and dance and sung and stuff.

"We're all in Hell together! Now we know, that you're dead, cuz you're all shitbaaags! We're all in Hell together! You all suck, and are sluts, and you can't siiiiing toooo! Yeah! FMA everywhere, stick those hands up in the air! That's the way we do it, damn we did it, TIME TO RULE THE WORLD! MWAHAHAHA!" And then they ran out to kill more people...

**---**

**XD; That's based on a video I'll be putting on YouTube soon called High School Massacre that me and my friends are doing, lol...**

**Apparently, people want Jessica Simpson dead...since I got that request...alot...that'll be next chapter then! And then Hannah Montana's next...the bitch shall die...-blows kisses- Lovely reviewers!**


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